Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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