I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
