i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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