I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I have aggressive nipples.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
