Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
