I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
