I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
