Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
