The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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