I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Iβve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Itβs like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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