I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
