Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
