I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Boobs speak an international language.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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