piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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