I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
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she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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