Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
