Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
