I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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