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• (630): View more from Illinois

  he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.

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• (619): View more from California

  I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.

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• (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?

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• (408): View more from California

  Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.

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