so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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