Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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