absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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