Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
