he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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