i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
