SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
