Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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