he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize