Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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