Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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