...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
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i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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