You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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