The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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