return my video game
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
