Soap is not a condiment
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
