Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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