I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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