Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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