Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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