i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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