it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize