Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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