JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
