oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
