He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
