Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize