i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
