this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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