I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
