I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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