Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
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Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
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Boobs are out for the taking
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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