my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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