im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
