After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
