Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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