I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
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laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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