You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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