Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
