You made me cry and you don't even care
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
