My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
