I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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