Slut skills are useful in every country.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
