Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
